Family Matters

We lost a good man today.

My grandfather passed away a few hours ago. I wasn't there when it happened, but from what I hear he was with his wife, the love of his life and my grandmother, and he went peacefully and quickly.

He had been in hospice care for five months, and while we had hoped he would recover, it seems he was ready to go. It just took him a while for whoever's out there to finally come and fetch him. We were told last week that he could go any day, and he finally went today, surrounded by family and those who loved him dearly. Daughters, sons, granddaughters, and a grandson were all there as he prepared to leave, and in the end it was just him and his wife together for one last time before he went.

And now? Now I have no idea what to do. I knew he could go at any time, but it was still a shock to receive the news. I was in line at Subway when I got the call. I just felt numb. I still feel numb. I'm  restless. I feel like I should be doing something, anything other than sitting in front of my computer eating ice cream and watching Netflix. But here I sit. And I don't know what to do. I just feel so numb when I know I should feel devastated or distraught or grief stricken. But I don't feel anything. I'm sure I'll feel something while at the funeral, but right now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.